Orlando Magic CEO Bob Vander Weide has decided to “resign” after 20 years with the team. I put the word resign in quotations because he probably would have been asked to leave anyways. He drunk dialed Dwight Howard over the weekend to try to convince him to stay with his team, just like an 18 year old guy trying to get some on a Friday night (or any guy for that matter). If a belligerent, 50 year old man calling you up at 2 in the morning to talk about his feelings doesn’t get you to stay, I don’t know what will. Oh wait yes I do, get him a better team around him. Vince Carter, Hedo Turkoglu, and Gay-Gay Reddick are not going to win you championships. In fact, it’s not even going to make you the best team in Florida. There is probably a 7% chance of him staying in Orlando, and that’s only if he breaks an ankle and no one wants him anymore. They will never make it out of the East with the Heat, Celts, and Knicks still around (assuming Carmelo has stopped sucking, and the Celtics sign more than the 6 players we have right now). So moral of the story, don’t drunk dial other dudes, it never turns out for the better.